Girl Inform Me

Wild World

2010-03-18T01:07:00.000-07:00

A miracle has occurred.

I have been accepted to University of Utah's Communication Sciences and Disorders Graduate Program. 6th ranked speech pathology program in the nation.

Why do they want me? No idea.

Truly. No idea.

BUT THEY DOOOO!!!!

So I'm going, before they change their minds.

Number six, you guys!!!!

He's A Dedicated Rocker, A Real Headknocker

2010-02-07T00:32:00.000-08:00

I just re-read all of my blogs from the last two years, and I have come to the conclusion that I'm really not all that funny. That's alright, though. Some of us were made to be funny, and some of us were made to watch Kendra on E! til two in the morning.

I don't know why I'm even watching T.V. Except for Teen Mom and Kardashians, I can't say I'm a big fan.

I have so much reading to do, and a midterm on Tuesday. I wish someone would invent a chip with all the knowledge in the world that they could stick in our brains at birth so studying was not necessary. When you know the information, taking a test can be sort of enjoyable. It's the studying and preparation that makes it so terrible. School is such a fun-suck sometimes.

In other news, I've stuffed myself so full of dark chocolate-covered pomegranates that moving is simply not an option right now. I still wish I had a dog. I received over 4000 songs worth of music from one of my buds, and the fact that I will probably never be able to listen to every single one is a little stressful. But in a wonderful way. I have purple shoes, a beautiful new phone that I am desperately afraid of breaking, and a longboard which I haven't fallen off of yet (don't worry, give it time). I have been listening to nothing but rap for the last two months, but I'm finally getting back into my familiar territory and it feels so nice to reunite with old friends such as OAR, Josh Ritter, Coldplay, Aqualung, Conor Oberst and other pretty things.

Life is good. I'm excited for new things and new people and new places! All my graduate applications are finally in, but I'm still looking for other schools with later deadlines that I can apply to for safeties. I'm pretty positive I won't get into any of the three schools I applied to already, but if I send enough good thoughts into the universe maybe I can swing it.

Kendra just gave birth to Hank Basket's 10 lb baby boy. Honestly, why do humongous pro athletes choose to procreate with the tiniest women? It's just cruel.

Party In the USA

2009-10-18T19:29:00.001-07:00

I know, I know. I'm sorry. It has been too long.

If it makes you feel better, I've been twittering my crazy whims at this locale: http://twitter.com/samnoelle

See? I'm not completely neglecting my cyber duties.

This weekend was probably one of the more disastrous I've experienced.

STRIKE ONE:

Firstly, I missed my dear friend Ashley's wedding in Sacramento. Midterms are just kicking off and I couldn't swing it. I'm a terrible friend. She even asked me to be a bridesmaid. I've never been a bridesmaid, and probably never will be again. I am a slave to my schoolwork, and it is ruining my life.

STRIKE TWO:

I had an accident.

I was running with Rachel on Saturday morning. Five minutes into our run, right before a crosswalk on Freedom, I ate it. Really hard. I didn't have time to catch myself even a little. One second I was upright and jaunty, the next I was sprawled unceremoniously across the gravel. The people in the car right in front of us were laughing, I know they were. My palms were all scraped up and my knees started gushing blood. We had to walk to the nearby McDonalds for napkins to clean up my legs, and I looked like I had just stormed the beaches at Normandy. When Rachel asked a McDonalds worker for some bandages, she just looked annoyed and said she would have to check to see if it was ok with her manager. No, no, don't worry about it lady. I'm ony losing mass amounts of blood and leaving traces of my DNA all over your floor.

Turns out it isn't against McDonald policy to give out band-aids to blood-soaked individuals, so I adhesived myself back together and we walked back to my apartment. It was a tough walk though, because I couldn't bend my right knee. And I still can't. I don't think it's broken, but something bad has happened and I am way bummed. I walk like a pirate with a peg leg.

STRIKE THREE:

I got pulled over in the church parking lot.

Yeah. Church is early this year, 9:00 a.m. I suppose I was a little out of it, because usually I really am very good about not speeding. Not this morning, apparantly. I also rolled a stop sign. No excuses there, I do that on a regular basis. So I rolled the stop sign and turned into the church parking lot just as the police officer, hiding under his cloak of invisibility, flipped his lights on and pulled me over. Bah. Of course, everyone decided to arrive five minutes late just like me, and of course, they stared at me like I was the prime suspect in a drug bust. Because that is why young white girls in Pontiac Grand-Ams get pulled over in Provo, Utah. In case you were wondering.

Anyways, the officer came up to my window and asked me if I knew why I had been pulled over. Luckily, Ashley and I have learned from personal experience that whenever a cop asks you if you know why you have been pulled over, you say "No officer, I have no idea why I have been pulled over" even if you know exactly why. Because usually, the reason you think you have been pulled over is, in fact, NOT the reason they picked you out. Like, today for instance, I almost said: "It must be because I haven't put my tags on yet. I'm sorry!" when he was actually pulling me over for doing 31 mph in a 25 mph, and for the stop sign thing. Oh, and while he was at it, he decided to ask me when I was planning on fixing my broken tail light, as well as my cracked windshield.

On my way to CHURCH. I can just see the angels giving contragulatory high fives on their comedic timing.

I refused to encourage their childish behavior and did not cry.
.
Anways, I wasn't looking too ugly this morning and the police officer had a moustache so of course we bonded. He ended up giving me a warning on both moving violations and just wrote me a fix-it ticket for the light and the windshield. Which really is more then fair.

I also have a test tomorrow morning, and from what I hear its definitley more comprehension then memorization based. It is also an audiology exam. 0 for 2.

Moral of the story: Listen to Party in the USA if you want to make yourself feel better AND hate yourself at the same time.

Sweet Monday

2009-08-10T12:08:00.000-07:00

1, My name: Sami
2. My favorite food: Pesto anything
3. My high School: West Linn High School
4. My favorite color: Yellow
5. The place I am now: Home :) back in Oregon
6. My favorite drink: Chocolate milk!! the sweet nector of the Gods
7. My dream vacation: Hogwarts, obviously
8. My favorite treat: I've never been known to turn down a chocolate chip cookie, unless it was a bad one
9. What I want to be when I grow up: Healthy. I don't mind getting old as long as I can still do things
10. What's most important to me: My family and the people I love, as cheesy as that is to say
11. A word to describe me: Quirky. Mom said charming, but I think she was overestimating my people skills
12. A nickname of mine: Shamu. So unfortunate. It's not what you're thinking

The Importance of Being Idle

2009-02-21T22:46:00.000-08:00

Much to your dismay, I admit I've been a smidgen neglectful of this cute little blog. I apologize.

I've been busy. I got a job coaching gymnastics and so far I'm actually really enjoying it. I get to teach gymnastics and play with little kids, who tell me secrets such as "my mom's cholesteral is really high so she has to go to the doctor" and ask me questions like "where is the brown one?" regarding a child in class of a more culturally diverse persuasion.

I've been working on going to bed earlier. The other night I went to sleep at nine thirty, earning me the nicknames of "Grammy" and "Rip van Winkle."

I sprained second toe on my left foot, the one next to the big toe? I'm completely unaware as to how this occurred but it got me to thinking. If I was a toe I think I would want to be the second one next to the big toe. I would always look so much skinnier in comparison.

I have four tests and a project due in the next week and half and am currently watching the episode of Friends where Joey and Monica attempt to fasten Joey a foreskin because he has an audition for a movie in which he has to appear naked, and it falls off in front of the director. This never gets old.

My cute roommate got engaged over Valentines Day Weekend. I got a giant Hershey's Chocolate bar. (I win.)

Anyways, that is my life and I'll update if I can think of anything cooler. Mostly though, I just want to dance in a fountain like the cast of Friends, but by myself because I hate when people splash me in my eyes.

Merry Happy

2009-02-01T00:12:00.000-08:00

100 Truths! After you've filled this out, tag 15 people and have them do the same. Except since this is my blog and not Facebook and do not have fifteen friends to tag, I am not going to stress about it.

1. last beverage? Water
2. last phone call? Evan
3. last text message? Evan. He loves me or something.
4. last song you listened to? Navy Taxi
5. last time you cried? When I was sick last Monday. I sat on the bathroom floor throwing up and crying because I didn't have a mom to take care of me. It was very pathetic and if you don't have tears in your eyes right now just reading this, you have a heart made of thorns.

SIX HAVE YOU EVERS:
6. dated someone twice? yes!
7. been cheated on? who would cheat on allllll this?
8. kissed someone & regretted it? no not really. kissing is delightful
9. lost someone special? sure
10. been depressed? see # 5
11. been drunk and threw up? i rarely throw up, except for President's Day Mondays

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Blue
13. Yellow
14. Polka dots

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Made new friends? Sure
16. Fallen out of love? Nopity nopity nooo
17. Laughed until you cried? No
18. Met someone who changed you? Probably? The year is only a month old
19. Found out who your true friends were? Well, yes
20. Found out someone was talking about you? Noo
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list? mhmm
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life? most everyone I think. Except for a few weirdos (you know who you are)
23. How many kids do you want to have? I don't know. I may not even be able to have children. I straddled the bar on my bicycle as a child and I hear that can have some pretty serious repurcussions.
24. Do you have any pets? you bet. 2 kitties named Bella and Riley and a dog named Daisy who smells like poo but I love her
25. Do you want to change your name? I used to because everyone would call me Sami Banani and I cried. But now I don't mind it so much. so NO!
27. What did you do for your last birthday? studied for and took a statistics final. My gift was a passing grade (barely).
28. What time did you wake up today ? 9:15 a.m. betch
29. What were you doing at midnight last night ? sleeping and subconciously weaving through a series of intricate and complex dreams
30. Name something you CANNOT wait for? SUMMER.
31. Last time you saw your father? january 4 :(
32. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life? I don't know. Stop asking me
33. What are you listening to right now? my pandora playlist. it is wonderful
34. Have you ever talked to a person named TOM R! No i heard he's retarded
35. What's getting on your nerves right now? The soreness of my arms owwww
36. Most visited webpage? probably facebook. or perez hilton teehee
37. What's your real name? Christensen, Samantha Noelle. My middle name is spelled wrong on my birth certificate. So technically, I am Samantha Noell.
38. Nicknames? Sami, Sam, buttmunch, Butch, dang it
39. Relationship Status? i have a relationship!
40. Zodiac sign? Sagittarius
41. Male or female or transgendered? I'm a lady, although when I wake up its hard to tell. Don't be deterred
42. Elementary? Sunset Elementary/ Carden
43. Middle School? Rosemont Ridge Middle School
44. High school? West Linn High
45. Hair color? blondish brown
46. Long or short? weird
47. Height? 5'8"
48. Do you have a crush on someone? yes
49. What do you like about yourself? the extra bone in my foot
50. Piercings? ears
51. Tattoos? nonezies
52. Righty or lefty? righty

FIRSTS:
53. First surgery? wisdom teeth. i swelled up like Aunt Marge from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
54. First piercing? ears, age 7.
55. First best friends? melissa, chelsea, leah, cassie, katie, etc
56. First sport you joined? soccer and t-ball.
57. First pet? Alfie, my hero dog :)
58. First vacation? Mexico, age 1. Apparantly I was the victim of an attempted kidnapping. But I don't remember it and details may have been exaggerated
59. First concert? The Shins when tickets were cheap
60. First crush? Lee.

RIGHT NOW:
61. Eating? No
62. Drinking? No
63. I'm about to? go to sleep
64. Listening to: True Affection by The Blow
65. Waiting for? Valentines Day weekend

YOUR FUTURE:
66. Want kids? eventually
67. Get married? I hope so. I hear its what all the cool kids my age are doing
68. Careers in mind? Speech therapist

WHICH IS BETTER:
69. Lips or eyes? eyes
70. Hugs or kisses? xoxo
71. Shorter or taller? I feel sad for small people
72. Older or Younger? youth babay
73. Romantic or spontaneous? romantic duhh
74. Nice stomach or nice arms? i heart abdominals
75. Sensitive or loud? sensitively loud
76. Hook-up or relationship? i like hooking up relationships
77. Trouble maker or hesitant? what?

HAVE YOU EVER:
78. Kissed a stranger? No
79. Drank hard liquor? You know what that does to me
80. Lost glasses/contacts? 20/20 wooo
81. Sex on first date? are you my baby daddy?
82. Broken someone's heart? they didn't tell me if i did
83. Had your own heart broken? check
84. Been drunk? on the sweet necter of life
85. Been arrested ? No
86. Turned someone down? Yes, so sad :(
87. Cried when someone died ? Um. yes? I cry when animals die in movies
88. Liked a friend that is a girl? I have lots of friends that are girls that I like. By the way, Kendall Lee Williams, I think we need to talk.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself? Mhmm
90. Miracles? Yeah
91. Love at first sight? Love inklings
92. Heaven? Yes
93. Santa Claus? Til I was ten. awkward
94. Karma? Probably
95. Kiss on the first date? not if I have to initiate
96. Angels? Sure

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
97. Is there one person you want to be with right now? Yes
98. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? nope, even though I'm in high demand
99. Told someone you loved them when you didn't? i don't love you mom
100. Posting this as 100 truths? Done and done

So This Is The New Year

2009-01-04T20:45:00.000-08:00

Albeit somewhat belated, I felt the desire to present to you the best and the worst of 2008

The Good!

1. A new president! Not that I necessarily had a vendetta against the Dub even though he was obviously a goob, but after eight years of the same guy, a girl needs a fresh face to lead her country into the future. Yes we can? Only if the United States is not made of up citizens as apathetic as me. (Shh).
2. Britney fights back! I love nothing more than a good comeback story, even when the comebackee is a little skanky and talks like an eight year old.
3. Tina Fey as Sarah Palin=Giggles. Wire rimmed spectacles will live in infamy. Plus, Sarah Palin's daughter was pregnant and popped out her infant son merely days before '08 came to a close. D to the Rama. (Sidenote: They named the baby Tripp. I suppose you can't expect much else from a girl named Bristol who hunts moose in her spare time).
4. Heath Ledger and The Dark Night. Why so seeriousss?
5. Gas prices under two dollars. I don't remember a time when I could fill up my tank for less than 25 dollars. That day came in 2008, thus its presence on this list.
6. Portland Trail Blazers. Rudy, LaMarcus, Nicolas, et al are not only the youngest and most attractive team in the NBA, but also appear to be legit competitors. The team has brought the city of Porland to its feet, unifying the people in excitement, pride, and a desire to kiss at least three of the upstanding young gentleman who make up the squad. Muy Caliente.

I'm tired. I'll get back to you with The Worst. Some candidates are the lame recession that ruined Christmas for millions, The Secret Life of the American Teenager, Twilight and all the media offspring it has spawned, and California in general. Stay tuned.

Mouthwash

2008-11-14T19:43:00.000-08:00

I decided to put off studying for my statistics midterm and going potty to write this blog. That is how dedicated I am. In fact, I need to pee so badly my eyes are watering, but I shall persevere.

Evan and I are texting, and I suggested that we think up cute names for one another that only we know. I call him lots of little cutsie names all the time (I guess you could say we are one of "those" couples) but I do not try to hide them, and sometimes I refer to other people and/or animals by the same terms i.e. boo boo, sugar bean, baby, bub, etc. But I thought it might be fun to have names for one another that do not apply to anyone else.

He came up with Isis. As in the Egyptian Fertility Goddess. Except he didn't know that's who she was. He says he thought it sounded cool, like a spy name. Apparantly we transitioned from cute pet names to spy names?

But he absolutely refuses to adhere to my name of choice, Turd Fergusen.

What do you guys call your SO? (That's significant others, to all you noobs)

In Music News: I am in love with Kate Nash. So, so in love. I highly recommend The Skeleton Song by the afore mentioned. So jaunty and sassy. Perfect for you, Turd Fergusen.

I want to hear your love names, friends!

2.99 Cent Blues

2008-10-11T20:58:00.000-07:00

Here begins the first installment of (dun dun dun):

The Grocery Cart Wars (photographic evidence soon to come).

If you are a faithful blog reader, you know that I have been using a Smiths grocery store cart to wheel my groceries from the store so I don't have to carry them all the way from the store and then up four flights of stairs. I keep it on the far side of my building on the grass, off the pavement so as not to block anyone trying to get to their stairs. Although I am perfectly aware it is pretty ratty thing to do, I didn't think that my keepage of a cart would bother anyone else.

Here, as you will soon see, I was wrong. Oh, so very wrong.

Tonight, on a venture to the grocery store with my roommate, we ventured to the far side to get my little cart. Upon arrival, to our absolute delight, we made a magnificent discovery. A sign, complete with elaborate lettering, a variety of colors and tied with ribbons to the handle of my cart, displayed the following message:

"Hey, ghetto superstar, move your cart....it's really starting to piss me off."

Oh, my. My oh my. We parked the cart in it's original spot when we got back from shopping.

My roommate, using her supersonic-passive-aggressive-note-writer identifying power, instantaneously had a very good idea as to who the guilty party might be. (Blonde (Very) Big Nose and her roommate Man-Hair downstairs). But the proof was yet to be had.

Until.

My roommate left to go to a friends house and no sooner had she gotten to the bottom of the steps she came upon Big Nose and Man-Hair at the grocery cart, attaching a brand new sign to the handle bar and taking pictures on their cell phones! I waited a minute or two, then proceeded downstairs to receive my latest message from the girls.

"DON'T TRY ME. Move it back to Smiths. Moron."

Even better than I had hoped.

Seeking advice from my dear friend Kevin, he advised I write back, but keep it light, keep it cool. He made a suggestion as to the content of my reply, which I humbly followed.

"You take it back, sexy-pants."

I left it in front of their apartment, and am expecting an extremely angry, offensive retort, via sign. I hope they don't know who I am.

Let the battle begin ladies. I'm sure I will lose due to my lack of confrontational abilities.

But then again, I do have two sisters. It's on, betch.

Losing A Whole Year

2008-10-08T09:59:00.000-07:00

Quote of the Day

Location: Stats 221

Patti B: "So this study was done in England over the course of twenty years. Do people who smoke live longer than people who don't smoke. They divided the people into age groups, see? 18-24, 25-40, 40-74, 75+. Does anyone see a problem here? Hmm? How old are all 75+ people in twenty years? I'll tell you how old: Dead. Dead. They're dead. Dead dead dead. Mhmm, dead. They are dead. Dead."

But, you may inquire, Patti B! There are a great many people who live past the age of 95!

Only if they're dead.

Win

2008-10-06T12:43:00.000-07:00

Go here. Win a cute purse.

http://www.handbagplanet.com/contest2.php

After Hours

2008-10-04T23:43:00.000-07:00

I've had an immensely uneventful weekend. I had a date with LeeAnne, and I must say it was probably the social highlight of my semester thus far. We saw Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, which was very cute but then again i'm a little bit in love with Michael Cera so don't be angry with me if you hated it, or will hate it once you see it.

It is such a rainy Saturday today, I love it. It's just like a real Oregon October. Except we're in smelly old Probo.

Really, you should all be happy I had such a lame weekend, because it has yielded many a blog. It was a blog yielding weekend.

I crave french toast. Too bad I already had chocolate. And its almost one in the morning, my oh my what a little night owl I have become. I have fidgety dreams at night, it gets quite hot in my little bedroom but I was too scared to open a window last night because all of my roommates are gone this weekend and I'm in the apartment all by my lonesome.

Would you like to hear an intricate detail of my past? Well here you go. In eighth grade there was a very strange boy in all of my classes. We'll call him Colin, because that was his name. He told us to call him Rage, and so we did. Then he proceeded to draw a picture of me as a monster. I had a tripod body with a weird head. Cute.

Well, french toast here i come. Sorry for this boring little note, I'll try to spice up my life a little for next time.

Abra Cadabra

2008-10-03T15:59:00.000-07:00

You know you are a trashy little monkey when...

You live close to the grocery store and decide to walk over so that you can take a grocery cart back to your apartment afterwards. It is parked safely on the side of my building, out of sight of managers and angry Smith's employees.

Also, when you wear socks with your birkenstocks.

I'm big into Flight of the Conchords lately. They never fail to make me giggle.

Fondly,

Sam <3

This Bitter Pill

2008-09-30T22:01:00.000-07:00

I got to math class and saw my professor, Patti B, looking particularly round, and I speculated on how many of her grandchildren she must have swallowed for breakfast that morning. Patti B and I start every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning off together, and let me tell you, she is such a joy to wake up to each day.

LIES!

Oh Patti B, must you make statistics so impossible? Must you continue to belittle my intelligence by yelling that we will fail the class if we don't get an A+++ on our first exam? Must you continue to take the questions of that obnoxious, overzealous young man with bad sense of humor and even worse sense of "can't you tell people are sick of you raising your hand to ask questions that do not relate to this lesson whatsoever?"

And freshman boy in the seat next to me: When I asked you in a friendly way if you took the test yet, I didn't mean that you should tell me about your twenty minutes of studying in line and your 96% result. Hey, a thought! Maybe you should start wearing longer shorts and stop wearing wool socks with sandals. Although he is from Eugene, where socks and sandals are quite commonplace. But the shorts? Unforgiveable.

Anywho, it's been quite some time hasn't it? Since I just mentioned one of the bad things in my life, I should mention the best thing.

It's name is Gymnastics Class, and my love is true.

I can't believe I have gone this long without it. It is so much fun, it feels so wonderful to do things I haven't done in about nine or ten years. I already got back my aerials, handsprings, cartwheels on the high beam, and layout half twist (on the trampoline). My next goals include back tuck and layout on floor, back tuck dismount off beam, walkovers on beam, glide kip and flyaway dismount on bars, handspring on vault, and a layout full on trampoline. I cannot even tell you how excited I am. Also a little scared. But mostly excited.

Although, I seem to be a bag of injuries lately. Knee and both feet, so hopefully those will get better so I can continue on in my hopes of becoming, well, somewhat of a semblance of what a gymnast is supposed to be.

A THOUGHT

Walking to school yesterday I looked up at the bell tower and thought this thought: "I wanna hop up there and swing around like Quasimodo."

Misery Business

2008-08-24T21:19:00.000-07:00

Evan has dragged me along on a fantasy football draft party (?) with his buds. I don't mind since I leave in a couple of days, but they are all sitting around on their laptops talking football and picking players for their teams, and I'm listening to music and watching the Closing Ceremonies on mute. More bad news: The Olympics are over. I am so sad, I've loved having them on almost all day every day the last couple weeks. Go USA Gymnastics! Michael Phelps is a beautiful man! Even the trampoline was wonderful. One world, one dream my friends.

I had a dream once. To go to the Olympics when I was sixteen for gymnastics. As you can see, I have failed miserably, growing about six inches too tall and I'm sorry but my bum will never look good in a leotard. Well, I'm out to contemplate how pathetic my life is compared to the thirteen year old Chinese gold medalists and Michael Phelps' seven world records, not to mention Dara Torres fifth Olympic appearance despite the birth of her child between these games and the last.

Blue Eyes

2008-08-23T19:49:00.001-07:00

My BFF Katherine Lynn and I were looking through some of her old pictures, and we found a few where we had done each others makeup around age thirteen or fourteen, and I must say we were inspired. What do you do with mounds of expensive makeup lying around a nearly empty apartment? Why, you cake it on your lids until you can no longer open your eyes, thats what.

At this juncture in time, I feel the need to take a moment to explain the great saga that is Sami and Katie. From the moment we met in first grade, we were not really great friends, but only because I ended up changing into a different class because Ms. Newman's was already full. I can't say I was unhappy about this, due to a little girl who thought it would make me feel more at home if she showed me the permanent teeth growing behind her baby teeth. Shark Girl expected we would become fast friends, but alas it was not meant to be. Call me crazy; I suppose I just have a fondness for people with one set of teeth.

Anyways, flash to third grade, when Katie and I were reunited in Miss Pattinson's class. We both owned black velvet overalls and I enjoyed wearing pigtails in my hair, so it was only natural for Kates to suggest that we dress alike the next day. Too bad I forgot and was confronted by a black overalled, pigtailed, vaguely annoyed Katie the next morning. She still invited me to her birthday sleep over though, during which Alexa Welle was made to pee in the litterbox after she ate cat nip. Even then, we knew how to party.

Sixth grade brought awkward permanent teeth, greasy hair, puberty movies, and bad outfits. Yet despite these horrific tween experiences, Katie and I managed to make it to seventh grade alive and even managed to become BFFs in the process, due to the fact that our two current BFF's found other people they would rather BFF around with. I know, lame sauce, because look how fantastic we turned out. (please see Photo 2 above).

Middle school passed, as did high school, and now two full years of college. And just this very night we said goodbye until Thanksgiving. I'm going to miss my lovely friend Katie :( But don't worry, we plan on living next door to one another until we get too old to get up and go next door, in which case we will have to move in together so we can watch Garden State, The Notebook, Amelie, and Pearl Harbor together whenever we feel like it. Even thought I fell asleep during Amelie.

Goodbye Katie Lou! See you soon :)

Interlude

2008-07-03T22:49:00.000-07:00

An excerpt from People Magazine's regular updates on the engagements, baby announcements, legal troubles, etc. of various celebraties:

DEATHS: "Tori Spelling's 11 year-old pug Mimi LaRue (inset) died June 17 of natural causes. 'I'm devasted,' says the actress, 35, who had her second child, Stella, June 9. 'I'm convinced she waited around to make sure I had the daughter I always dreamt about before she left us.'"

As much as I love my own morbidly obese pug, I'm afraid People wouldn't find our recent news about her deadly bladder stones quite as interesting as Mimi LaRue's passing. Perhaps this was a blessing in disguise...who knows if Tori's heart was big enough to love two daughters?

Walk Away

2008-05-17T11:03:00.000-07:00

I saw a naked women in the woods yesterday on my run. Older, approximately late fifties to early sixties.

Let me explain further.

I started off where I always do, entering the woods near the parking lot, running about ten feet before the concrete turned to dirt trail. Let me also say, there are bathrooms no less then fifty feet away, but I digress. I was trying to get to the song I wanted on my iPod so I was a bit distracted. Imagine my nasty shock upon looking forward and seeing the side profile of a woman who had hiked her dress up over her head and had her extraordinarily large white granny panties around her ankles. She didn't look like she was going to the bathroom, as she was bent at the waist, not typical of the usual potty squat. She did not see me.

At this point I was uncertain of what I should do. I opted to look to the side, pretending I hadn't seen anything, and make my feet pound pavement really hard, hoping she would hear me coming and take the necessary steps to cover herself up. It took about ten seconds, but she finally did hear me and out of the corner of my eye I saw her scurry to pull up her enormous underwear and get her dress back where it was supposed to be. This was both a relief but also more awkward, since obviously she knew she should not have been exposing herself in such a public place, dashing any hopes I had of her being senile. As I passed, she pretended to be putting stuff into her bag and didn't look at me once.

Now, I'm not going to pretend I have never gone to the bathroom in the woods. Sometimes, there aren't many other options. However, general poo-in-the-forest protocol calls for attemts to find a spot off the beaten trail, preferably with some sort of tree or leafy foliage to hide yourself if necessary. Who decides to go on the main trail, with the parking lot visible nonetheless, if you don't want to get caught?

Anyways. It was awkward. The end.

My Heart Will Go On...And On

2008-04-22T22:15:00.000-07:00

Evidence of my Goobishness:

I like to draw. And once upon earlier this year I decided to draw the DVD cover of Titanic. I'm actually rather proud of it. I am, however, pretty embarrassed about the subject matter. I give you license to mock.

This Devil's Workday

2008-04-22T16:50:00.000-07:00

The end of school has never been so stressful.

I saved my longest final (physics) for the last, as is tradition from last semester. I also studied the least for this exam, again, as is tradition from last semester. I just wanted to be all done by today so that I could start packing and go home as soon as possible.

As luck would have it, the testing center honor code nazi's were patrolling today, and after about ten minutes of waiting in line a strange looking Frau came and pulled me out to tell me that my running shorts were too short. I would either have to get someone to bring me up a pair of appropriate leg-wear or go back to the apartment and get some. I knew Rachel was sleeping and that Kendall and LeeAnne weren't there, so I had to trek back to my car and drive all the way back to get some sweatpants. I did so as quickly as possible, and I'm not going to lie, tears were shed.

But Fate was not through with me yet.

I walked out to the parking lot to get in my car and drive back to school, but when I put the key in the ignition my car kind of growled at me. It would not start and my dad got irritated with me over the phone because I don't speak "how to fix a car." Luckily, Rachel had woken up by this point and gave me a ride up to campus so I could take my last final, which didn't go so well. This wasn't a surprise, but I didn't take it as well as I would have if everything had gone the way it was supposed to.

So.

Instead of going to work out right after my test and then going to get boxes for packing, I walked back here and ordered a veggie pizza because I have no food and am currently watching ANTM. Because, despite this being an extraordinarily sucky day, it is the last day of school and the last final of this year and I will enjoy it at least a little.

Happy Summer!

Star Wars Theme Music?

2008-04-13T23:14:00.000-07:00

I never thought about it before, but after my T.A. pointed out that they look very much alike, I quite agree. It's all in the ears I think.

I Am the Walrus

2008-04-13T22:58:00.000-07:00

Each morning as I walk the back path by the tennis courts, I come across a little duck couple, a gentleman and his lady duck. I take out my headphones and say good morning to them both, or if other people are nearby I whisper. They quack back at me softly, and I know, I just know they are saying good morning too. Ducks are quite intuitive, and they even mate for life. Perhaps I was divinely inspired when, during a health class nearly three years ago, I responded to the timeless question of "If you could be any animal, what would you be?" with "Mr. Hartmann's duck." Mr. Hartmann's duck, Bob, had an amazing life. He lived in a little pen in the corner of the classroom with a rabbit named Grant and got to wander around whenever he felt like it. And, during lunch time, they would haul a little kiddy pool outside and fill it with water so Bob could swim around for a bit. He really had the sweetest little setup ever. He was a truly advantaged duck.

I made fudge today and now I feel like a walrus. Don't harpoon me, I still have feelings.

Smells Like..Content?

2008-03-31T16:24:00.000-07:00

Boys. Smelly.

These two words will forever be intertwined.

Exhibit A: There is a man in my weight training class who lifts forty five pound weights and literally screams every time he does a set. I want to kick him and tell him to try my fifteen pounders, because his unnecessarily loud grunts and yelling are distracting and make me feel quite embarrassed for him. He also has bad sweat stains under his arms, which are only made more prominent due to our regulation light gray t-shirts. In addition, he chooses to pull his white old man tube socks all the way up, reaching mid-shin and giving him a sort of squat appearance. This is an example of smelly social habits, as well as a smelly body.

Exhibit B: There was a man on the treadmill next to mine today, and I kept smelling myself discreetly (sort of) to make sure that the odor emanating from between our two machines wasn't mine. And it wasn't. It was his. Smelly smelly smelly boy. I was running faster then him though. I snuck a peek. This is an example of a smelly body, as well as a slow individual.

Exhibit C: Today in basketball class, my team was forced to wear the little penny jerseys for the third time in a row, because we are bad. They always smell really funky (not a good funky) and today I found out why. We are the last class of the day, and these jerseys are not washed in between. And the guy's classes are before ours. Oh the disgust I felt upon realizing that I have been wearing man-sweat jerseys the past few class periods. Oh dear Lord. If only boys would wear scented moisturizer, deodorant, and body spray, I might not feel like taking eleven point six showers after class.

In conclusion, it seems as though I am destined to be surrounded by smelly men. I fear it is something I will never escape.

The Color of Tempo

2008-03-29T20:47:00.000-07:00

Devin, LeeAnne and I just had the happiest experience of our lives.

Festival of Colors anyone?!

It was like all my dreams came true. Food, music, llamas, and large amounts of bright colored powder covering my face, hair, hands, and clothes. OH! It was so magical. I wish every day of my life could be Hare Krishna. The young foreign men in particular were especially eager to smear green and purple and pink and yellow all over LeeAnne's and my faces. When pictures appear, I will post. Oh the joy!

In the Waiting Line

2008-03-29T10:53:00.001-07:00

Schools Out For Summer

Get Me Gone

2008-03-28T12:23:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I get annoyed. For unexplained reasons, I wake up in the morning in what I believe to be excellent spirits, and then something happens that gets me a little irritated and for the next few hours, everything seems loud and obnoxious. This morning, for instance. I woke up in an OK mood, besides being a little tired even though I got about 8 hours of sleep. I went to physics where I became extremely sleepy and came back to my apartment expecting to take a little nap while I watched the latest episode of Gossip Girl before babysitting. When I went to connect to the internet, however, my little clicker was doing the little "please wait" sign, and it was doing it with no end in sight. I got mad, restarted my computer, and tried again. It took waaay to long to get online this morning, and so when I went to the microwave and saw that my breakfast had exploded out of it's bowl after only two minutes of cooking, I was peeved. So then I went to babysitting and on the way over I started going the wrong way because I'm stupid so I had to head down another street and turn left at the light. So my arrow turns green, I go to turn left and some guy makes a crazy right hand turn on a red without stopping at all. Didn't even give me a wave of apology. And then he proceeded to go about 22 miles an hour in front of me when he shouldn't have been there in the first place. ARRRGGHHH!!!! I wish I was the only person in the world allowed to drive. So I got to babysitting and waited for about 25 minutes for them, but they weren't there. I wasn't too upset though, I just needed money for laundry and such but I guess that will have to wait. Today was a high blood pressure day, and all before 1:00 p.m.

Good thing I'm at 0% risk for osteoporosis. Yes, that is right, my running and milk drinking will one day pay off in the form of strong, non-porous bones. Woot!

Apology

2008-03-19T15:38:00.000-07:00

Sorry about the squishiness below!

The Space Between

2008-03-19T15:25:00.000-07:00

Your political compass:

Economic Left/Right: -1.62
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -1.95

For comparison purposes...

Ghandi and me, changing the world one little box at a time.

http://www.politicalcompass.org/

Smile

2008-03-12T11:08:00.000-07:00

"Keep a green tree in your heart, and perhaps a singing bird will come."

-Chinese Proverb

I just think it is a nice quote. Who wouldn't want a singing bird to visit the green tree that is your heart? I hate birds, but maybe if this songbird was nice I wouldn't mind. Thank you physics teacher, for starting my Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays off right.

Here are some more quotes I like from some good movies, just because it's your lucky day:

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Well, who the hell else are you talkin' to? You talkin' to me? Well, I'm the only one here. Who the f--k do you think you're talkin' to? Oh yeah? Okay."

-Taxi Driver

I say this to my mom whenever she asks what I want for breakfast. It's like, c'mon. Who do you think you are?

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop to look once in awhile, you could miss it."

-Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Such a wise young adolescent. Plus this movie alone spawned the creation of two separate bands.

"Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape."

-Planet of the Apes

Seriously Evan. I mean it.

"My dear boy, if God had intended for us to walk, he wouldn't have invented roller skates."

-Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

I cannot remember if this is in the movie or the book. Either way, I am a natural on skates.

"If you build it, he will come."

-Field of Dreams

It's just so applicable to so many things, you know? Wow. I'll just let you think about that one.

"Let me see if I've got this straight: in order to be grounded, I've got to be crazy and I must be crazy to keep flying. But if I ask to be grounded, that means I'm not crazy any more and I have to keep flying."

-Catch 22

This is a really good book. Never saw the movie, but the book is full of great quotes and irony. I know a lot of ironic people. You know who you are. If you don't I'll tell you later.

"Deep doubts, deep wisdom; small doubts, little wisdom."

-Chinese Proverb

This is not from a movie, just another proverb from Asialand. But guess what, it's my blog and I can write what I want and Chinese people are very wise.

There are plenty more where this came from. For instance, we have some fantastic movie quotes on our refrigerator, which I would love to relate to you. But alas, my tummy growls and it is time to feed the beast. As always, it's been a pleasure. I mean that!

Long, Long Way from Home

2008-03-09T23:46:00.000-07:00

Things I Cannot Wait For (in no particular order)

1. My family plus Evan

2. Summer

3. My friends

4. No school

5. Janine

6 Baked sugary goodness

7. April

8. Food I don't have to pay for and a house I don't have to pay rent to live in

9. My bed

10. My kitties and my puppy

11. My sisters

12. MONEY

13. Laying out at the pool

14. Summer clothing

15. Quiet Time

16. Library trips for non-studious purposes

17. My books

18. Running in the park :)

19. Church in my home ward

20. Familiar streets and neighborhoods

21. Portland dinner extravaganzas

22. Blackberries

23. 4th of July

24. Movies in the Park

25. Having all of my stuff exactly where I need it

26. BBQ's

27. Yoga with Chelsey

28. Basketball with Ebs

29. Homemade macaroni and cheese

30. Fresh strawberries and watermelon

I am a little homesick. And very, very hungry.

Breaking the Girl

2008-03-06T13:35:00.000-08:00

Walking on campus today, I heard a very brief snippet of conversation between a couple; the girl wearing gross sweatpants and a sweatshirt and the boy was all snazzy and coifed. The interchange went a little something like this:

Slop Girl: So, I, like, laid in bed for like an hour, blowing my nose all over the place.

Nancy Boy: *trying to hide his disgust and still holding her hand* Ugh.....

Made this already sunny day a little sunnier

Basketball Dream

2008-03-05T17:24:00.000-08:00

For those of you who do not know me on an intimate level, you may be surprised and/or repulsed and/or delighted to know that I happen to be a big college basketball fan. Not necessarily knowledgeable of stats or of particular athletes; I just have teams that I support (the ones that my boyfriend does; his excitement is contagious), and I think that basketball itself is just a fun game to watch. This may stem from the fact that I have attended many of my sister's games over the years, as well as played a bit myself. Oh, and my dad is a basketball nutcase.

Anyways, March Madness is coming up and I am rather excited for it. I anticipate any major sporting event, actually, because the likelihood of a mass fight breaking out amongst the athletes substantially increases, due to the stress and pressure to win. There is honestly nothing better when, during the World Series, someone hops out of the dugout screaming at the pitcher and then lays him out on the mound. Both teams then stampede onto the field, a brawl ensues, suspensions are issued and then, a few years later, that pitcher will accuse his attacker of steroid use in front of a grand jury. Or hire a hooker to say she was raped by said aggressor.

True, these things are less likely to occur in college sports, because they seem to be a little more wholesome and less about the fame and glory then professional programs. But that is not to say acts of random violence (or not so random!) are rare. Lets take a look at some of the brutal injuries spawned from intense college competition:

Exhibit A: Gerald Henderson of Duke University flagrantly elbows UNC's Tyler Hansbrough in the face. Blood everywhere, people screaming. Glorious.

Exhibit B: Here we see Washington's Ryan Appleby recouping after a nasty hit by University of Oregon alumni Aaron Brooks. I must say, compared to Tyler Hansbrough's injuries, Ryan's little cotton swab up the nostril looks ridiculously wussy. Perhaps this is part of the reason why he is more commonly referred to as "Applebitch" among Oregon fans and general Appleby haters alike.

Exhibit C: Nancy Kerrigan. WHY? WHYYY??? (Note to Reader: Nancy was not a college athlete, and figure skating isn't necessarily a sport. It just illustrates my point).

Let the games begin!

Colors of the Wind

2008-03-04T18:56:00.000-08:00

Apparently, I am a very ethnic princess at heart. Just like much of America, I am a melting pot of goodness.

Although, the first time I got Belle.

Which Disney Princess Are You?
	You are part Jasmine. You are loyal and would visit the ends of the earth for what you believe. You would never let obstacles stand in the way of true love.
	You are part Pocahontas. You defy convention and sometimes do what is considered taboo. Unfortunately, others do not always appreciate your differences, so it's good that you are so strong-willed. You are loyal and you believe in fate. Your true love will find you one day.
Find Your Character @ BrainFall.com

Welcome to the Jungle

2008-02-28T14:10:00.000-08:00

Food/Drink

McDonalds or Burger King? BK lounge please

Pepsi or Coke? Diet Pepsi

Sierra Mist or Sprite? Sprite

Dominos or Pizza Hut? Papa Murphy's

Friday's or Ruby Tuesdays? Said she wants diamonds, I took her to Ruby Tuesdays, if we up at Friday's I still have it my way. Actually I've never been to either.

Pancakes or Waffles? mmm pancakes so soon

Hamburgers or Cheeseburgers? Burgerville's Spicy Blackbean Gardenburger

Meat or Veggies? neither

Vanilla or Chocolate? chocolate

Clothing

Ambercrombie or Hollister? Forever 21

Boxers or Briefs? boxers

Collar: Popped or Regular? regular

Jeans or Skirt? jeansies

Sneakers or Flip-Flops? it is a seasonal thing for me

Music

*NSYNC or Backstreet Boys? *NSYNC, no doubt about it

50 Cent or 2pac? Tupac

Country or Rap? rap, although I dont particularly listen to either of them much

Rob Thomas or Maroon 5? Matchbox 20

Goo Goo Dolls or Matchbox 20? Goo Goo Dolls

Porcupine Tree or Opeth ;) ? you are gay

The Other Sex

Face or Body? Body

Chest or Butt? Either or

Hair: Short or Long? curly

Brunette or Blonde? dark

Candy or Flowers? Flowas

Hugs or Kisses? Hugs and Kisses

Friends with Benefits, or Date? I like my boyfriendy boyfriend.

Technology

MySpace or Facebook? I am a facebook fiend

AIM or MSN? AIM

TV or Movie? Movies...on TV!!

Cell Phone or iPod? Depends...cell phone's are necessary, iPods are delightful

Automatic or Manual? Automatic, unless I want to die

Colors

Black or White? neither of these are colors, I refuse to answer this question

Red or Blue? blue

Gold or Silver? silver

Yellow or Orange? yellow

Pink or Purple? purply pink

Weather

Summer or Winter? I long for summer

Fall or Spring? Either as long as I'm in Oregon. But spring means I'm home so that is always a good thought

Rain or Thunderstorm? Thunderstorm, then rain. On a tin roof

Snow or Rain? Rain. Perhaps at one point in my life I'd have answered differently, but snow and I have still not reconciled.

Would You Rather...

Shower or Bathe? Shower

Play an Instrument or Sing? I'd like to sing while playing the guitar. Or piano

Play ping-pong or pool? I'm better at the pong

Be Hot or Cold? After Utah living? Hot. But I'd rather freeze to death I think

Are You...

Quiet or Loud? I like to think of myself as a mixture between Bob Dylan and Bobby Knight

Immature or Mature? I am a child

Ugly or Hott? I had my wisdom teeth out once. I looked like Theodore from Alvin and the Chipmunks

Smart or Stupid? depends on who you ask

Gay or Straight? Straight

Misc.

Dogs or Cats? I want a dog named Murphy or Arrow. And a kitty named whatever Evan wants to name it.

Pen or Pencil? mechanical pencils

Democrat or Republican? just like 37% of Americans, I consider myself to be middle of the road

Canada or Australia? Australia fo sho

Saturday Night

2008-02-24T11:11:00.000-08:00

LeeAnne and I watched seven hours of the first season of the OC, respectively. I think Nan said she was up til 8:30 am, which blows my 4:30 am hours out of the water. She is obsessed with Seth; a little late jumping on the Adam Brody bandwagon but nonetheless, her infatuation is full throttle.

However, there are elements to this show that bother me. Like how Marissa never looks up when she's walking, she is always staring at the floor. Why? So she can be surprised whenever someone talks to her? And Ryan is always questioning and worried, telling Seth his crazy schemes aren't going to work out. A) You'd think that the bad boy would be up for a little adventure, and B) How can Seth not figure out that all his ideas suck? And also, why don't the stylists for this show fix Rachel Bilson's hair more like Mischa Barton's? Marissa always has good hair, but Summer's always has a nasty center part and frizzy ends. Maybe it gets better after the first season but as of now, Summer has hooker hair, if I can be frank.

Also, Ryan is always calling Sandy from the hospital, or some night club, or the police station. If I were Sandy, I don't think I'd feel like coming to pick him up after the eleven hundredth phone call, seeing as it always interrupts an intimate moment between him and Kirsten, which they are severely lacking due to the fact that Sandy sold out to work for a corporate law firm defending rich people who are being sued for fraud or embezzlement.

Now, if you will excuse me, I must get back to Ryan and Oliver at the police station. Oliver has just been busted trying to buy cocaine from an undercover cop. Lets see how Ryan handles this precarious situation.

We Major

2008-02-19T12:02:00.002-08:00

For your viewing pleasure...

Evan and I basking in the warmth of the very rare sunshine

Drawing with Easter Chalk

Sometimes when I weigh four hundred pounds, I get hungry and try to eat Evan's hand.

Shake it like a Polaroid piccurr

Baa Baa Black Sheep

2008-02-15T20:56:00.000-08:00

Evan came babysitting today after I picked him up from the airport.

Brooklyn took a liking to him. She decided to include him in her pretend game of "Babies"

She gave Evan a little pink stuffed animal sheep, then told him he was having a baby and to put it under his shirt.

My boyfriend then walked around the house for at least fifteen minutes with a sheep stuffed under his T-Shirt...Guess who was assigned to deliver this blessed infant?

That's right. I am now seriously considering a career in gynecology. It was truly one of the most miraculous experiences of my life.

Superfreak

2008-02-09T23:36:00.000-08:00

LeeAnne and I are watching Superbad in our living room on a Saturday night. Pretty sweet...

So Nice So Smart

2008-02-07T13:42:00.001-08:00

I'm sitting in the Eyring Science Center, upstairs, at those little cafe tables they so conveniently placed up here for students seeking quiet study time, but who would also like to enjoy a view of a dinosaur skeleton and the big pendulum thing. I personally don't understand the mystery of the pendulum. It hangs from the ceiling and swings back and forth in a big silvery bowl. ooOOooo. The wonders of the universe continue to amaze me. I do think it would be wonderful to fill that bowl up with some sort of gooey substance so that we could sculpt creations (i.e. clay, Play-Do, flubber(!)) in our free time, like at OMSI.

Sitting directly across from me at another table is my ex Anatomy T.A., who despite the fact that he is in my weight training class this semester (what are the odds?), and that we cross paths randomly almost every day, has yet to look me in the face and say hello. Oh Michael Argyle, why must it be so?! It's really alright though, because I find it very entertaining to stare directly at his head as we pass each other while walking, or in class, and say nothing either. I think this may reduce the likelihood of him ever acknowledging that we once were on a first name basis and that he knows exactly what grade I got in Anatomy. Hmm. Perhaps this is why he refuses to admit that I actually might exist? I'm pretty sure I exist though; people still trip over my stuff when I refuse to move it after they show up for class ten minutes late and expect me to fall all over myself making it convenient for them to grab that one available seat in the middle of the row. No. They can climb, and I hope it hurts their pride as well as their legs.

I like left handed desks. I don't know why, maybe because it tricks people into thinking I'm left handed. Which I'm not, but I have a lot of friends who are. I'm a lefty by association. I hope my firstborn child is left handed. If he/she is not, I will throw him/her in a river (Willamette!) and try again.

I'm really at a loss for things to write about. I have thoughts people, lots of thoughts! But I just don't think you will find them interesting. Peace niglets.

All The Young Dudes

2008-02-03T11:55:00.000-08:00

Dancing last night, Studio 600. Although it began as fairly lame, what with there being almost no people and some not very good dancing music, it ended up alright. I even saw a boy for the first time in forever that I used to have the biggest crush on. It was extremely awkward. And there was a group of boys that kept trying to bump and grind on us girls, one of whom looked as though he was not a day over sixteen. And then, of course, there were the old 35 and 40 year old men who kept looking over and asking how we were doing. Eech. But all in all, it was pretty fun. Now I have to do physics homework.

P.S. I am writing this on a beautiful new computer!! My old one crashed, in case I forgot to mention it. My hard drive is not recoverable. But it's ok, because i love my new one. Hopefully we will have many happy years together.

Isn't It Ironic?

2008-01-24T13:43:00.000-08:00

That my religion class is located in the science building?

That, while listening to the radio, an "above the influence" commercial against the use of drugs comes on, and directly afterwards a song is played by a band whose lead singer notoriously overdosed and died? (Kurt Cobain, you live on in my memory)

That for the past two days, the weather people have said it should be clear and sunny, and it has NOT been clear and sunny, and today they said it was supposed to snow all day and yet I felt the warmth of the sun for the first time in my life, basically?

That foreigners speak better English then me?

That I am in a science geared major even though I have no scientific skills whatsoever?

That 20% of the United States' richest families have 84% of our national wealth?

That Heath Ledger died but Lindsay Lohan is still alive? ( this is a prime example of "cruel irony").

Oh, baby baby, it's a wild world. Which reminds me...

It is also ironic that the government put Cat Stevens, aka Mr. Pacifist, on their list of terrorist people. But I guess thats what you get for siding with the Muslim turrerists.

I Love You Baby

2008-01-22T17:47:00.001-08:00

I miss Heath.

A Well Respected Man

2008-01-17T22:06:00.000-08:00

I feel like retracting my previous statement two posts ago. Boys aren't poo. Not on a regular basis anyways.

Girls night tonight! We are watching Meg Ryan fake an orgasm in a coffee shop a la When Harry Met Sally. LeeAnne is obsessed. With the movie, not Meg's false climaxing.

Anyways.

I think I may have eaten too many peanut nems. (M&M's, for those of you unfamiliar). Today I learned a lot of things at school. Not now though, kids, maybe tomorrow.

Yours affectionately, lovingly, patriotically and erotically,

Sami

Up The Spout

2008-01-10T17:45:00.000-08:00

It is snowing much too much. Snow and I are on thin ice again. Get it? I punned! You probably did not get it, and that means you are an idiot.

It's ok though, we all have our moments.

Classes started this week, and I have a grueling Monday let me tell you! I go to physics at 10:00 a.m. , followed by an 11:00 a.m. weight training class. By the end of the semester I have to be able to do twenty pull ups and fifty push ups, among other things. Rapists be warned: I will be able to knock you out by the end of April. Anyways, after weight training, I have basketball class at 2:00 p.m. I love it, it is my most favorite thing. Although I get a little too aggressive I think. I can't help it, especially when really butch girls who played a lot in high school come in and think I am completely uncoordinated. I'm not though, just a little rusty...yeah. Actually I'm used to playing with Evan and my dad, who let me tackle them and jump on their backs and hit them and such. I have to refrain from doing that to the girls in my class, especially when they yell "Oh come on!" every time they miss a shot. All I do when I miss a shot is squeak a little out of embarrassment. I squeak a lot, and it annoys me.

LeeAnne is my boyfriend. And let me tell you, she is an animal.

Squeak!

P.S. my other classes are Current Events and Social Issues, Doctrine and Covenants, Art History, and a Political Science class that is once a week and has no assignments, we just have to go and listen. Just in case you thought I was a slacker. Which I am, but I think that slacking is a healthy thing sometimes.

Quote of the Day: "If I ever had sex with an orange juice box and got pregnant, it would look like THIS!" -LeeAnne, after stuffing the orange juice container inside her shirt.

Alone Down There

2008-01-08T23:14:00.000-08:00

Boys are poo.

Piazza, New York Catcher

2008-01-03T12:52:00.000-08:00

I love Juno. (Especially Micheal Cera).

Most of all, I love the soundtrack.

Belle and Sebastian.

Cat Power.

Kimya Dawson.

Buddy Holly.

The Kinks.

Moldy Peaches?!

Loves.

We Missed You, Hissed the Lovecats

2007-12-23T13:10:00.000-08:00

I get to finally be home! With no homework to do! That only happens twice a year now, and I cannot tell you how lovely it feels to have finals be done and have nothing to do but play and read books.

And oh yeah, I get to see this one man every day. That NEVER happens. Now it does. :)

Nutcracker tonight...I love being home. My sisters are insane. Amy just is weird, but Chelsey might be a crack addict. I will check up on that. But I love them so dearly.

Anyways, this blog really has no point. I think I am too fried to think of points. I'm just blissfully writing and writing and writing...

OH! Mama is making deviled eggs. I think my heart just burst from sheer yumminess. Goodbye, little roommates. And Andy.

P.S. Kendall: apparantly my roommates are not the only ones who read this blog. See comment on my survey post from September or October

Brighter Than Sunshine

2007-12-20T23:35:00.000-08:00

LeeAnne and I have now watched "A Lot Like Love" two times today. Have we studied for our hardest finals which take place in approximately eleven and a half hours?

No. Dear me, no.

Have we eaten more chocolate then I could have ever fathomed?

Yes.

I think one of the things I will miss most about Becki abandoning us for something as trivial as, say, marriage, is our random outbursts of singing. Which always end abruptly, but you know what? It is beautiful.

My first child shall be named Oliver.

I fail at school!

The End.

Its My Party

2007-12-16T10:07:00.001-08:00

My birthday today...so far, it's been delightful.

The first toast.

Dancing around in thermal shermals. (Becki looks like a little Dr. Seuss character, I'm not sure which one).

Slumber party in the living room, with a movie.

Homemade salsa and cupcakes! So yummy.

GREEN MOLD attacked the garbage can...LeeAnne is my hero.

Yes, twenty is proving thus far to be a happy year. May you all have a lovely day of celebrating my birth.

Dark Center of the Universe

2007-12-15T11:40:00.000-08:00

I am currently tucked away with about a hundred and fifty other anatomy students in a lecture hall I never knew existed. Yes, we are here on a Saturday, reviewing for the monster named "General Anatomy Final." Even the fact that the first T.A. reminded me of Carlton from "Fresh Prince of Belair," minus the black, cannot make up for the sad fact that I am here until 5:00 pm. I have been here since eleven. Only four hours fifteen minutes to go!

Birthday tomorrow, the birthday that signals the end of my childhood. I'm not sure why the 18th birthday did not send off that signal, but it definitely did not. It seems as though my life is passing before my eyes; next thing you know I will be dead. Or at least 25, the unspeakable age that signifies you are as equally close to being 30 as you are to being 20.

Its ok though, you guys, because a birthday is still a joyous occasion, is it not? Everyone tells you that they are happy you exist, that you, YOU, were given life by yo mama and the ability to affect their lives in such a positive and uplifting way. So if people don't tell you Happy Birthday, you should not be alive. Because your existence is pointless.

This has been an in-depth, albeit brief, viewing into the dark and twisted mind of Samantha Noelle Christensen.

Do you see what anatomy does to me?

Weird Divide

2007-12-13T15:28:00.000-08:00

"Put your hand DOWN little Steve!!"

"And Jessica, for God sakes keep icing your front bum. Swelling continues when you don't ice, and I need you...not really."

"It's a lead role...Yeah, I know...Me thinks thou best not botch it."

"Nice trick Landers, catching the ball with your face. Next thing you know you'll be shooting three pointers with your ass."

"Oh. Fun hair clip."

"Hold it- yes um- um what can I... You'd tell me if you'd had a stroke..?"

"Sir, your wife called, she won't be able to make it to the show tonight.'
'Did she say why?'
'It was hard to understand through all the slurring."'

'"What direction do you think "left" is? See, because if you go with your instinct and reverse it, I think we have something happening. How difficult is this? I'm so alone, I think.'
'I am trying. You are intimidating me.'
'Well you are FRIGHTENING me. You understand that? How do you get dressed in the morning? Do you have people come in, or do you just lie in state?"

If anybody can tell me which movie contains these priceless gems, I will give you a dollar...of love.

Y'all Gonna Make Me Lose My Mind

2007-12-13T08:41:00.000-08:00

Construction! Construction at the BC!

Every morning dear friends, they drill. They drill into solid cement and, as I'm sure you can imagine, it's very noisy. Sometimes the noise incorporates itself into my dreams. Actually it doesn't unless I'm sleeping on the couch, which I am inclined to do lately because our little Christmas Tree casts a very cheery glow about the room and it makes my heart swell with joy. But I digress.

I wondered today if the stereotype of construction workers is true. You know, sloppy, unshaven, showing butt crack. My dad is a construction worker, but it has been so long since I've seen him on the job, I couldn't really say. So today, on my way up the stairs, I took a peek. And what did my eyes behold?! You got it. Bum crackage. Quite a bit, actually. I laughed a little, on the inside. Also, on the outside. Maybe I was also a little grossed out, because really, is there anyone out there with an attractive division of bum?

Once, in elementary school, a boy I knew came up to me and asked me a question. See conversation below:

7 year old smelly Cory:"Hey Sami, were you born in an earthquake?"
Sweet, naiive, innocent 7 year old Sami: "No..."
7 year old smelly Cory: "Then why do you have a crack in your butt?!" *uproarious laughter ensues*

Ugh. Boys never change. Posted below is another conversation I had with my friend Patrick during our Environmental Science class senior year:

Pat: "So I heard that if your hand is bigger then your face, you are more likely to get cancer."
Sami: "Seriously?" *holds hand up to face to measure*
Pat: *hits my hand so that I smack myself in the face.*
Sami: "You're a jerk."
Pat: *Convulsing with laughter. Unable to say anything else*

See?

Quote of the Day: "Well, you know they banned Charlotte's Web...what, you don't believe me? There's witchcraft in those webs!" -My Creative Writing professor.

All I Want for Christmas

2007-12-09T23:04:00.000-08:00

A kitten.

Evan already said no, it wouldn't be from him. Because he is a Christmas Scrooge. I'll deal with him later.

But the roommates all say yes! Maybe we will name it Becki, maybe we will name it something else. All I have to say is that it will sleep right next to me at night. As long as it is potty trained. And isn't so fluffy that when I breathe in I get hair up my nose.

Golden Years

2007-12-09T00:33:00.000-08:00

Today was Becki's bridal shower, which was really fun. She looked like a radiant little angel of joy. Actually, she mostly looked normal, (which is good, I promise) but I think she had fun. I certainly did; I thoroughly enjoyed that delicious spinach dip and bread. I came to a realization today, and here it is: Peanut Butter M&M's will always be a big hit when placed in a room full of girls. I think peanut butter and chocolate is maybe the most delicious combination placed on God's good earth.

It snowed again today, and I came to a realization again. Ready? I know you're just dying to find out what it is. Here you go little curious cats: It is not snow I hate. In fact, I have rekindled my love of snow. I think it is beautiful and fluffy and all that jazzy mcjazz. However, I do not like the cold that precedes and then lingers before and after a snowfall. But, I will admit, it looks very pretty when its all fresh and white and covering up the big brown mountains. It does not look so pretty piled up inside my car, though. That window really must be fixed.

I also realized that David Bowie just might be the greatest fashion pioneer of our time.

Yes, my friends, it has been a week full of realizations. Realizations about life, love, and people. And I have come to this conclusion. It is too late to be writing a blog. Oh jebus. Did I post a picture of David Bowie?

Two!

The Brilliant Dance

2007-11-25T21:27:00.003-08:00

And by the way...

I get to go to see The Nutcracker when I get back for Christmas!! I'm thrilled. Just elated. Weeee!!

And by the way, look what I found in the grocery store last week...

Oh! And this picture makes me laugh..I captured him in a weak moment?

I Feel Home

2007-11-25T21:18:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving was lovely, home was delightful, I can't wait to get back. I've started a countdown: 27 days until I board a plane headed back to my homeland.

These are turkey's, alive and feathery just how i like them. I did not partake in turkey eating this year. It just felt wrong. But to those who did, I salute you!

The Horizon Has Been Defeated

2007-11-16T17:38:00.000-08:00

Dennis Dixon tore his ACL during last night's game against Arizona. Bye bye Heisman, bye bye national championship game. Poor little duck. I realize that since I am not the most avid of football fans I really should not care one way or the other, but it was a little exciting to see my home state school doing so well. Plus, now my boyfriend is going to be in a bad mood for a long time, seeing as he actually attends U of O.

R.I.P. Anterior Cruciate Ligament. You proved to be one of the greatest Anterior Cruciate Ligaments that University of Oregon has ever produced. It really is a shame you could not continue connecting Dennis's femur and tibia and limiting the forward movement and rotation of said tibia. You will be sorely missed, and may God have mercy on your anatomical soul.

One of These Things First

2007-11-14T22:55:00.001-08:00

My computer has been resurrected! I spilled Diet Pepsi on it while writing that last blog, and many un-pleasantries consequently ensued. Luckily, LeeAnne has successfully procured herself a very handy boyfriend and he was nice enough to fix my dear little compy. Well actually, we thought he hadn't been able to fix it because it still wouldn't turn on after he cleaned out all the soda, but I left it alone for three days and lo and behold, it was risen! Like Easter Sunday, but better. I feel bad that my technological gadgets have to fight to survive a life with me. No more Diet Pepsi; I should have known better then to betray Diet Dr. Pepper like that.

But guess what everyone?! I, Samantha Noelle Christensen, took my anatomy lecture midterm today, and received a score of 80%! Sure, I saw a boy from class as we were finishing up our tests and he happened to get a 92%, but hey! At least I can take comfort in the knowledge that if I were him, I would definitely rethink that severe side part in my hair. I'm just glad it wasn't a D.

One test down, two more to go!

And I have one month, one day left of teenager-hood. Four weeks and a day before I enter the unknown realm of "Twenties." Eeps! I've heard good things about that realm, however, so maybe it won't be too strange...plus I can't wait to get my drink on. Ha, just kidding, you! You're silly.

Chemo Limo

2007-11-09T21:52:00.000-08:00

Regina is so so wonderful. So weird, but delightful.

Anatomy still sucks, in case you thought it stopped since my last mentioning of it. No. Anatomy sucking a consistent and ever present fact of life. How do people ace those tests?!

Nevertheless, let us look on the bright side. It is already November, and no snow yet! I used to love snow, but after barely surviving last winter's epidemic of "Wet Socks and Pant legs Every Day", my relationship with Snow has become a little strained. I think it would be best if Snow and I kept our distance for the time being.

Much love to my sister, Amy, who just made the varsity basketball team as a little baby freshman. :) I feel like a proud mum. I myself am looking forward to playoffs when her and Chelsey will face off in a sisterly grudge match, which I can only hope becomes gruesomely aggressive.

F-Stop Blues

2007-11-07T11:20:00.000-08:00

I think it is about time for a Vent Blog. Ready everyone? Here we go.

I go to the gym. I like going to the gym, it smells nice in there. At this gym, I have a favorite treadmill upon which I like to run for three or four miles. It makes me tired, it makes my heart rate go up, I get all sweaty and gross, and sometimes afterwards my legs feel a little jelly-like. It gives me a good workout, so to speak.

At this gym, there are approximately forty treadmills, all lined up in the cardio section, along with many ellipticals and stair-steppers. So many options, gym goers, so many options! And yet, for the past week every time I am ready to run on my favorite treadmill, which always makes me feel fast and not so tired, there is someone already on it, WALKING! They are just walking on it! Out of the forty treadmills, ellipticals, and stair-steppers, they choose my treadmill to walk on. Not that I have a problem with walkers, but really? You get the same workout trekking up the hill to campus. Do they really want to spend all that money on a gym membership when they could simply walk around the block and turn around and walk back home for free? And if they do feel it necessary to spend a large sum of money to walk, must they choose the one treadmill upon which I have staked my territory out of all the many options the gym staff has to offer? Shame on you, gym-walkers. I hope it takes you a decade to achieve the perfectly sculpted body you are so fruitlessly trying to attain.

And to all those out there who are wondering why I don't just run around the neighborhood to get my run in, I have only one thing to say to you: You and I are no longer friends.

The Boy is Back In Town

2007-11-03T13:39:00.000-07:00

Ebs is here and it has been lovely. Lots of delightful meals and movies, two of my favorite things. He wants to see the Duck game today on T.V. but that should be good actually. He is much more fun to watch sports with than my dear father, who refuses to explain football to me and channel surfs like a madman during commercials, which everyone knows are the best part of football games on T.V.

This is a good weekend.

We are watching a V Mars episode about a cult of hippies. They grow poinsettias. I can see what's coming; I think they are all going to drink poinsettia juice and die painful and miserable deaths. Oh! Twist in the story! This cult community is actually much more wholesome then real communities, thus runaway teens should not be reported to the police because they are in a better place. Apparently, laws are conditional.

Quote of the Day: "Dad, we have to do something. Casey's just been kidnapped."

Last Request

2007-10-31T15:55:00.000-07:00

I wrote a story for my Creative Writing class about two or three weeks ago and have not even looked at it since then. And today, I get to share it out loud in front of my class. I forgot to mention that the story is awful so it should be an interesting and awkward experience for everybody. If I should suffer a sudden brain hemorrhage from sheer humiliation, please tell my dear sister Chelsey that I did in fact take her American Eagle jeans with me to college last year, even though I lied and told her I didn't, and that the bottoms are now all ripped up because they were much too long and I wore them anyway.

There's This Girl I Know

2007-10-25T14:54:00.000-07:00

Do you have any pets? yes. they live in oregon.
What color shirt are you wearing? i'm not wearing a shirt, i'm wearing a dress.
Name three things that are physically close to you: 1. backpack. 2. moldy apple 3. cell phone
What is the last book you read? A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
Are you or were you a good student? i was, i still try but with little success.
What's your favorite sport? basketball, track, gymnastics
Do you enjoy sleeping late? i enjoy sleeping until i'm not tired anymore
What's the weather like right now? sunny and warm. tomorrow it will probably snow
Who tells the best jokes? dave chappelle
What was the last thing you dreamed about? i have really mean dreams
Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? i drive. and someone rear-ended me the other day so i called the cops.
Do you believe in karma? yes
Do you believe in luck? yes-ish?
Do you like your eggs scrambled or sunny side up? sthcrambled preeese
Do you collect anything? i collect small glass figurines. and my mom gave me her thimble collection many years ago
Are you proud of yourself? sure
Are you reliable? its fify/fifty
Have you ever given money to a bum? yes
What's your favorite food? homemade mac and cheese
Have you ever had a secret admirer? duh. actually no.
Do you like the smell of gasoline? yes. and so do you!
Do you like to draw? i do
What's your favorite invention? wha..?
Is your room messy? yes
What do you like better: oranges or apples? apples please
Do you give in easily? depends on what i'm giving into i would think.
Are you a good guesser? ha NO
Can you read other people's expressions? its somewhat of a gift
Are you a bully? whose asking?
Do you have a job? no maybe next semester. get off my back
What time did you wake up this morning? an hour and a half after class started
What did you eat for breakfast this morning? the cheaper version of honey nut cheerios
When was the last time you showered? this morning
What do you plan on doing tomorrow? gym, study and do homework..hockey game maybe?
What's your favorite day of the week and why? fridays, no classes para mi
Do you have any nicknames? ughhhhhh
Have you ever been scuba diving? three times betch
What's your least favorite color? poo green-brown
Is there someone you have been constantly thinking about? sure. If yes, who? ebs
Would you ever go skydiving? no.
What toothpaste do you use? good question. what toothpaste do YOU use?
Do you enjoy challenges? if i'm in a conquering kind of mood
What's the worst injury you have had? i had two concussions before age 2. luckily, i have no recollection of either of these traumatizing events.
What's the last movie you saw? one that i've never seen before? airplane. one that i've seen before? the holiday.
What do you want to know about the future? i don't think i want to know anything.
What does your last text message say? "Are you serious? Free tacos! Woo!! Does that make you feel any better?"
Who was the last person you spoke over the phone to? Evan Daniel MacKay
What's your favorite school subject? english
What's your least favorite school subject? math. thus, stats will come next year.
Would you rather have money or love? love
What is your dream vacation? european extravaganza!
What is your favorite animal? elephants.
Do you miss anyone right now? yes
What's the last sporting event you watched? world series: red sox vs rockies. i hate baseball
Do you need to do laundry? i smell
Do you listen to the radio? yes
Where were you when 9/11 happened? Upstairs in Oregon
What do you do when vending machines steal your money? Become violent
Have you ever caught a butterfly? no :(
What color are your bed sheets? white
What's your ringtone? australia-the shins
Who was the last person to make you laugh? Evan. i'm seeing a pattern
Do you have any obsessions right now? maybe
Do you like things that glow in the dark? LOVE
What's your favorite fruity scent? coconut lime verbana
Do you watch cartoons? not really no. southpark sometimes?
Have you ever sat on a roof? yes
Have you ever been to a different country? mexico, when i was a wee babe
Name three things in the world you dislike: 1. hair in the shower 2. u2 3. being bossed around
Name three people in the world you dislike: 1.the annoying girl in sign language/speech anatomy 2. Joaquim Noah 3. the person who blocked youtube at byu
Has a rumor even been spread about you? maybe
Do you like sushi? ew no
Do you believe in magic? in a young girls heart
Do you hold grudges? yes. and i'm not sorry

What Time is It? Is It Story Time?

2007-10-18T13:09:00.000-07:00

Every time I'm in sign language I get the feeling she is going to pull out the big nap-time rug and let us all lay on it, and proceed to read us a story out loud. I don't know why I get this vibe but I'm always thoroughly disappointed when it doesn't happen. She should really consider making this an everyday part of class, because I know I for one would certainly be more inclined to show up every day. Especially if she brought Capri Suns and animal crackers. Or those little circly fruit snacks so I could put one on each of my fingers like rings.

Saint and Sailors

2007-10-17T15:49:00.000-07:00

The Daily Universe Reader's Forum, Brigham Young University

Honor Code Change?

I have been wondering lately if someone failed to notify me of a change to the Honor Code. It seems that the appropriate length for a skirt has changed from "knee-length" to "as long as it's longer than mid-thigh you're OK" Of course, nowadays the issue of length can be dodged altogether by sporting spandex leggings underneath anything resembling a skirt of a dress. If this is considered modest, then the next time I wear a mini-skirt I'll just paint my legs to match and call it good. No one will really be able to see my skin, right? Ladies, it is time we remind ourselves that modesty is more than just covering skin.

-Amanda Hill, Rock Springs, Wyo.

I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I go to school with ignorant people who have nothing better to do then criticize other people's clothing choices. I don't come to school to worry about who is dressed "modestly", I come to school to learn and get a degree for as little amount of money as possible, and get out of Utah asap. But I guess Amanda is a much better person than I.

Human Behavior

2007-10-15T17:14:00.000-07:00

I watched a couple of episodes of Gilmore Girls on DVD yesterday, and this made me very happy.

Lorelai: Hey, Kirk! (looks closer, sees he's all bandaged up and gasps) Oh, my God!
Rory: What happened?
Kirk: I'm scratched over sixty percent of my body.
Lorelai: 'Cat Kirk', again? (reaches out to console him)
Kirk: Ow!!
Lorelai: Sorry! How did this happen?
Kirk: Well, the tension of our standoff was unbearable, so I got on the floor and tried to play with him.
Lorelai: It's a him?
Kirk: I caught a peek.
Lorelai: Go on...
Kirk: I rolled this cute little ball of yarn over to him all nice and gentle. He tried to garrote me with it.
Lorelai: (gasps) Oh, my God!
Kirk: (gestures with his hands) just grabbed two ends with his paws and came at me!
Rory: (uncomprehendingly) But he doesn't have opposable thumbs?
Kirk: He's beyond them! He's *smart*. He knows things. Sometimes before they happen.
Lorelai: Get ahold of yourself, man!
Kirk: You haven't heard the worst.
Rory: Geez, there's worse?
Kirk: When the attacks got particularly brutal, I had no choice but to strip naked and hide underwater in the bath tub. I read that cats are afraid of water.
Babette: They are! They are!
Kirk: Kirk isn't. He found me. And...(struggles) he seemed to derive greater power from the water. Thats when the bulk of the scratching happened.

Haha. I'm laughing now just reading it. To myself. By myself. Some days I am lame. A lot of days, actually.

I went to open anatomy lab today, but due to the stress of everybody knowing more then me, I proceeded to haul my sorry tush out of there. Oh! And I took a midterm today, I studied for it all weekend, even putting four and a half hours in at the library. I got a 79.6 on the multiple choice...and the fill-in-the-blank portion was just not pretty my friends. It shouldn't have been a hard test, I didn't even think it was that hard, but I didn't do as well as I'd hoped. Ah, well. Life goes on. There will always be other tests (I guess thats supposed to make me want to go on with life?). Ha ok. I need to go live outside now. Goodbye.

Love and Some Verses

2007-10-13T22:52:00.000-07:00

Evan might come down to visit again! November 4th-6th. It has to be short because we both have midterms. Curse midterms. They make life worth not living.

Good thing he's coming then!

A Short Reprise for Mary Todd, Who Went Insane, But for Very Good Reasons

2007-10-13T11:09:00.000-07:00

I think I shall never find a man who speaks to the musical portion of my soul the way Sufjan does.

I also think deaf people need to be a bit more considerate. Reni and I set up this interview with her deaf Grandpa, so we could interrogate him about his life of silence, and he decides to go have lunch with friends instead. Really, Grandpa? Luckily, thanks to Alpha Teach Yourself: American Sign Language in 24 Hours, I understand that deaf people value their time spent with other deaf people, so I can't be offended when I have to take a backseat every now and then. But I still am a little. Because now, here I sit, my plan for the day lying in shambles around me, and instead of doing something productive like memorizing diagrams of the larynx or trach tubes for my midterm, I write this blog. Which has been really boring, and for that I am so, so sorry.

I got a picture! Look, that is me over there to the right. Thank you Rachel, you are my hero.

She Was Given to Fits of Semi-Precious Metaphors

2007-10-12T22:53:00.000-07:00

I got to watch Benny and Joon tonight! That movie makes me extraordinarily happy, it's almost ridiculous. Instead of studying for a midterm I opted to enjoy the antics of Johnny Depp and his miming abilities. So lovely. I wish he would make breadsticks tap dance for me. It kind of made me miss home though.

I have no idea how to post pictures on here, and it's bothering me.

Also, today at the library I fell on my butt and slid about six feet out into the main lobby. It was truly one of my Top Five Greatest Falls of All Time, number one being the time I was running to go inside my house and I slid on the wooden porch. For a second I was airborne and completely parallel to the ground; then I landed on my back. Today's Great Fall wasn't quite as epic, but only about two levels below, since I was carrying an open water bottle at the time. I'll leave the rest of the visual to your own imagination, since I can't accurately describe what it looked like to the fifty other people watching me almost snap my lateral malleolus in half.

Speaking of lateral malleolus's...I hate anatomy tests! That is all.

We Don't Need No Education...

2007-10-12T10:26:00.000-07:00

I definitely do NOT.